Surprise, I’m having a baby and over halfway through pregnancy! I’ve had quite the disappearance from Intentional Lucie while I’ve been navigating the biggest change of my life, and have been reflecting on the sidelines about just how much I’ve missed writing as a personal pursuit. So, I’m back! Technically, I’m 23 weeks pregnant at the time of publishing (how quickly time passes), and feel called to share a piece of pregnancy advice from my first 20 weeks of pregnancy.
For the first 20 weeks, I had high hopes that I would be a vision of health with a regular exercise routine, healthy eating habits and a maternity capsule wardrobe that exuded the persona of a well-put-together woman. Of course, this was far from the reality – quite the opposite, in fact.
I now realise that, once again, I put unnecessary pressure on myself and set unrealistic expectations to, essentially, glamorise pregnancy. In truth, I was on a hormonal rollercoaster that was accompanied by symptoms such as morning sickness, exhaustion and a mental tug of war. When I reached halfway through pregnancy, I wrote a list on my Notes app of the advice I wished I had understood. It isn’t profound, but it still gives me that inward yearning to turn back the clock and replay the first half of my journey with the mindset I have now.
My journey to halfway through pregnancy
I fell pregnant during my second burnout, and it was the greatest news I could have ever received. Amid the excitement, I reopened my personal Facebook, Instagram and TikTok accounts after a few months’ break to connect, or feel connected, to other women on their pregnancy journey. As a person who values social interaction, I knew I didn’t want to go it alone. I quietly tiptoed back into my online society, which helped me tremendously. Particularly on TikTok, the algorithm understood the requirement, pushing out a steady stream of day-in-the-life vlogs from expectant and new mothers. It became a safe space for me to unwind in the evenings, but it trickled into mornings and afternoons, too.
While the evening scrolling felt harmless and was (perceivingly) only interrupting a couple of my established positive habits, a problem was bubbling under the surface – the comparison trap. Some of the content I was consuming featured pregnant women going to the gym five days a week, hitting 10,000 steps a day, eating a diet from the pages of a wellness magazine, and cleaning their perfectly decorated homes from top to bottom. Oh, the glamour of a woman who could do it all. I was adamant I wanted to be that girl.
So, in my first trimester, I started a pregnancy home workout plan… it lasted less than a week. I downloaded the fitness app created by my favourite influencer… it lasted less than a couple of weeks. In my second trimester, I joined the gym… I didn’t step into it once, and proceeded to cancel my membership two weeks later.
I macro counted one week, and ate whatever I could get my hands on the next. I craved carbs and processed food, such as McDonald’s, and needed to eat frequently to avoid nausea. Consistency was off. I experienced bodily changes and gained weight, which, after losing two stone for my wedding, caused me inner conflict. I grieved my old body and the healthy version of me I once was. I no longer recognised myself in the mirror.
My 20 weeks pregnant tips
My tips surround one piece of advice, as cliché as it sounds – don’t compare your pregnancy to others. Looking back, I wish I had been kinder to myself. I wish I hadn’t compared my lifestyle to that of a fitness influencer, or even, a person whose circumstances I didn’t truly know. Rather than aiming for the extreme – the perfect version of myself during pregnancy – I wish I had introduced small, daily goals, and didn’t beat myself up if circumstances didn’t allow me to meet them. A balanced diet with a few extra carb sources and a daily walk to the shop would have been much more achievable, and significantly better for my mental health, than the all-or-nothing mindset I fell into.
Of course, take subtle inspiration from creators, but don’t take what they say as gospel, and don’t compare your pregnancy journey to theirs. Your midwife is the only person who is permitted to provide medical advice about your nutrition and exercise as part of their profession. In one of my earlier appointments, my midwife said to me that the most important thing I did in my first trimester was eat – even if I had half a Mars Bar for breakfast. It was clear that she didn’t hold the same expectations that I had of myself.
Where I am over halfway through pregnancy
Now, as the third trimester, my due date and birth beckon, I’m feeling much more content in the skin I’m in. I still watch my favourite creators on TikTok, but accept that their journey is uniquely theirs, not mine. I still have days where I might have eaten more processed food than I would have liked (in fact, yesterday was one of them), but they happen fewer and further between. I joined a weekly aquanatal class, in which I get to exercise alongside other pregnant women in my area. I can’t even begin to express how much more intentional this feels to me than going to the gym five days a week ever could, and how much I enjoy being in community during pregnancy. I still have to watch my stress levels and keep a close eye on my screen time, but I’m better. It’s progress over perfection.
To the expectant mothers reading, I wish you all the love and kindness during your pregnancy. What was a lesson you learned after you reached halfway through pregnancy?