How to use self-care to be the best version of yourself

For quite some time, I’ve felt called to write about how to be the best version of yourself. As always, my writing stems from introspection, and beauty is a word that often comes to mind – not in terms of being beautiful on the inside, but being intentional about how we show up on the outside. I wondered if ‘intentional beauty’ (I’m coining it!) is a concept that other practitioners follow.

I’ve been learning how I can be more intentional to become the best version of myself. It hasn’t been long since I started the journey, and I wanted to use my experience and personal growth to highlight what has worked, what hasn’t, and how you can learn from my story to be the best version of yourself, too.

My journey to feeling beautiful

While it’s probably not something I should admit on the internet, I’ve always been somewhat lazy when it comes to traditional beauty standards. As someone who has predominantly worked from home since 2023, my typical routine became basic compared to other people’s, consisting of brushing my teeth, showering, following the same skincare routine I’ve had for 10 years, putting comfortable clothes on and tying my hair up. Before the pandemic, I would wear high-street makeup to the office and clothes I already owned that were suitable for work, but I refrained from ever replacing them. It’s funny, really – despite my school years being full of excitement about the day I would get an office job and be able to wear power suits to work, when it came to it, I had a blocker about spending money on them.

It all changed this year, though, when I started to prepare for my wedding in autumn. I knew that there were things I needed to do to feel the best version of myself and get out of my comfort zone. I’m learning that a lot of my feelings surrounding beauty stem from my daily habits, and following my pre-existing routine was depriving me of feeling my best. The clothes I was wearing were ill-fitting and, while I don’t believe anyone needs to wear makeup, I knew that putting it on made me feel ready to tackle the day. Now, I’m on a journey to feeling the most beautiful and confident version of myself. If you find yourself in a similar position, I welcome you to join me.

How to be the best version of yourself

Before I begin this section, I want to reiterate that external beauty is not the exclusive answer to being the best version of yourself. A lot of feeling beautiful comes from within and doesn’t require cosmetic changes.

But, in this blog post, I will be focusing on how making changes on the outside can help to put you on the right vibration within. If you’re looking for a mindset coach for learning to be the best version of yourself, you might prefer to read my guides on living with intention or gratitude and the law of attraction. If you’re looking for external self-care, I have three pieces of advice that have supported me in feeling beautiful.

1. Get dressed to shoes, every day

I adopted this principle from the Flylady cleaning system’s second rule, ‘be dressed to shoes’. It’s a simple concept, but it works. As soon as physically possible in the morning, get ready as if you’re going out for the day, right the way to your shoes. Use the clothes, jewellery and accessories you would save for best, even if you’re not planning to leave the house.

Tip – If you don’t wear shoes in the house, clean the soles of a pair you don’t wear anymore, or buy a separate pair of house shoes.

Doing this has given me a sense of freedom to explore the clothes in my wardrobe, enabling me to regularly try my clothes on, and decide what’s right and not right for me. It turns out that a lot of my clothes are too big, not my style or don’t have items that pair with them, making them unwearable. Some of you may recall the style journey I was on with Style Therapy: 30 Days to Your Signature Style, which helped me to understand the fashion I liked and the gaps in my wardrobe. To be truthful, I only recently looked at the list on the Notes app of my phone since I moved to the countryside eight months ago. But, with my mind focused on becoming the best version of myself, I’m excited to revisit the list and do an updated wardrobe analysis.

2. Schedule appointments for you

Hands up if you’ve ever felt that scheduling an appointment for your manicure, waxing, skincare or haircut is a waste of money? I continue with this internal dialogue most days and, with my wedding on the horizon, it’s been one of my biggest areas of focus this year. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it even more since I saw this quote:

I realised that I’ve only been interested in booking beauty appointments when A. I let things get significantly out of control, or B. I had an event that I was preparing to attend. My hairdresser posted a before-and-after photo of my hair on her Instagram page recently, and it was a shock to see my hair before I embarked on a colour correction journey.

A beauty appointment is a way of self-care. I’ve been making bi-monthly appointments with my hairdresser and investing in regular facials with a skin expert, even making the recommended product changes in my daily routine. I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with getting manicures, and I always labelled my visits to the nail salon every three to four weeks as ‘time-consuming’. But, right now, as I’m typing with my bubblegum pink BIAB nails, it’s clear that they’re having a positive impact on how I perceive myself. So, a manicure is something that I want to prioritise.

What self-care treatment is important to you? Is it, like me, having fresh highlights, clear skin and your nails manicured? Whatever it is, if it helps with your confidence and is in line with your goals, I would say it’s worth the investment. Go one step further by booking them in advance when you’re at your current appointment. That way, you can put the date straight in your calendar and tick a future job off your to-do list.

3. Find joy in making yourself feel beautiful

Recently, I met a woman working in a shop who had a full face of makeup on. It sounds quite a normal occurrence, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how put-together she looked from doing this one act of self-care. It made me think of my own makeup routine consisting of the sub-standard tinted moisturiser, a blusher that’s past its expiry date, an eyebrow mascara that doesn’t keep my eyebrows in place throughout the day and a lipstick in a shade that doesn’t suit me.

It reminded me that I used to enjoy the process of buying, trying and reviewing makeup. One of my old blogs was dedicated to reviewing beauty products, and I loved spending Sunday afternoons binge-watching Fleur DeForce on YouTube. While I am much more intentional about the products I purchase now, such as the medical-grade skincare that I buy from my skin expert, I can still have fun with makeup and try new products. More importantly, I don’t have to wait for a product I don’t like to run out before I replace it.

What act of self-care do you enjoy and can experiment with? Think about whether introducing them into your routine would make you happy and, of course, help you to be the best version of yourself. It might be recreating the beachy waves you did in your 20s, wearing a signature red lipstick or using a sheet mask weekly. A big act for me has been investing in my favourite deep conditioner to improve the health of my hair, especially during the bleaching process.

What makes you feel your best?

The essence of it is that we shouldn’t save our clothes, manicures and beauty products for the days that we’re going to be seen at an event or going on holiday. Your best is for today. I’d love to hear your favourite self-care rituals in the comments, and any new ways that make you feel the best version of yourself on the outside.

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