Intentional living is, in many ways, about finding joy in the little things. From recent practice, I’m reminded that the perceived mundane and monotonous moments can be just as beautiful as the most superior events on the calendar.
They aren’t the same, but I believe that intentional living and slow living are the perfect pairing – the gin and the tonic. I’ve shared that I’ve fallen in and out of love with slow living. Truthfully, it didn’t fit the persona of the career-driven woman I became. But, after a decade of drinking the corporate Kool-Aid, the idea of a quieter, slower existence beckoned. The same feeling presents itself every year – the inspiration to cook in the kitchen with Jazz FM playing on the radio, and to use the milk frother on my coffee machine to enjoy a speciality hot drink with a magazine. Of course, work and life don’t disappear. It’s not about living in one extremity or another. Instead, finding joy in the little things is about recognising the moments in the day, week, month and year that, when you take off the negative goggles, are beautiful.
If you’ve stumbled upon this blog post craving a slower pace and a simpler existence, I hope my five personal pursuits will provide some guidance and support on your journey.
1. Having operational hours for my phone
My phone is the first thing to give when I crave simplicity. I know that my mental health is slipping when I become glued to it. Refreshing apps in haste and typing midnight thoughts into the search bar isn’t conducive to my positivity.
Despite a busy calendar, maintaining peace in the morning and evening grounds me. I need to start my day slowly and with intention, rather than sending quick-fire WhatsApp messages at the break of dawn.
I’ve been successfully trialling a new way of using my phone. Outside of my “operational” hours – that is, the daytime from 8.30 AM to 5.30 PM, I shut my phone in the drawer. I charge my phone downstairs, too, so I don’t pick it up on autopilot in the twilight hours. It might sound… unusual, but it provides me with space and time to do the things that I used to say, “I don’t have time for”.
It’s not perfect, and there are exceptions – if I need a QR code in my inbox for the InPost locker, or I’m expecting a phone call out of hours, for example. But, when it happens, I’m disciplined in returning my phone to the drawer the moment I can. I know that my time without my phone in the morning and evening is far greater than my time with it.
2. Not waiting for the perfect time
I want to start reading fantasy. I want to learn the tarot cards. I want to do a movie marathon. I want to start a cross-stitch project. These are all activities on my list. Yet, I hadn’t made time for any of them.
I’ve reflected on perfectionism at length over the years. My subconscious desire to wait for the perfect time has been debilitating throughout my life. It’s a constant test. Of course, we all know that such a time doesn’t exist. It’s similar to the advice that you shouldn’t save your best clothes for a special occasion – you shouldn’t wait for the perfect opportunity to start.
I’ve started baking, journaling, reading in the morning and evening, and having candlelit baths with luxurious products. I’ve watched seasonal films and drawn pictures, just because.
Now, with a morning and evening to do as my heart pleases, I have more reason to let go of the negative inner dialogue, get out of my own way and just start.
3. Enjoying one thing at a time
It’s easy to bake a batch of cupcakes and succumb to the temptation of eating multiple in one day. Just as it’s easy to watch the next episode of a binge-worthy series on Netflix, or your favourite YouTuber’s back catalogue of vlogs on a Sunday afternoon.
But, just one more cake or episode can take away from the magic of finding joy. If I ate multiple cupcakes, I might skip dinner, too full to cook the ingredients I’d lovingly brought home for a nutritious evening meal. Or, I might choose to watch just one more episode, and the evening I was looking forward to might vanish. With finite hours in the working day, that just one more can quickly change the course of an evening.
So, I set myself a challenge to enjoy one thing at a time. This way, I know I won’t spend my evenings absorbed in YouTube, and might feel compelled to pick up one of my creative pursuits instead. It’s a conscious effort that requires practice, but it becomes even more rewarding when it’s time for that precious cupcake or episode.
4. Making a ritual of everyday tasks
Can you burn a candle or play music alongside the task you’re working on? My favourite ritual is planning out my week with a candle burning, having a delicious drink on the coaster, using my favourite highlighters and stickers, and setting intentions as part of the planning process. I use the Law of Attraction Planner, which includes a double-page spread for the week with columns for the week’s priorities, a personal to-do list and a habit tracker. I love filling in my planner at the beginning of the week and adding to it each day.
5. Being your authentic self
For years, I’ve built a persona and put myself in a box. It was only recently that I looked at the clothes in my wardrobe and correlated them with feeling out of place. I didn’t feel like me. Somewhere along the way, I became subscribed to a particular style – one that was scripted. I couldn’t buy this colour or that pattern because it didn’t fit my “image”.
A few weeks ago, I tossed the rulebook in the fire and started to invest in clothes that bring me joy. The timeless, casual, “IT girl” style that I was previously upholding became obsolete as I scoured the internet for grunge, whimsical prints and handkerchief hems. Despite being a borderline minimalist, the transition was liberating. My wardrobe still has a long way to go, especially with certain waistline restrictions at 29 weeks pregnant(!), but I’m proudly stocking the rail with clothes that allow me to truly express myself. I only wish I’d started sooner, and encourage you to throw out the rulebook containing whatever’s holding you back, too.
I hope that my examples of how I’m finding joy in the little things have provided some inspiration (or at a minimum, some light reading), as we navigate the ups and downs of being human. Remember, joy can be found in the imperfections, so try not to fear the process. Doing one small thing for yourself tomorrow could be the difference between a day that passes you by, and a day that you fondly remember.