Practising the slow living lifestyle has been a new journey of self-discovery, one that I hope will inspire you to live life in the slower lane.
It’s the end of winter, and I’m noticing the first signs of new beginnings in the Fens – green sprouts in farmers’ fields, the warm tones of sunshine reflecting on the windscreen of my MINI, and brighter afternoons seeping into the evenings. Imbolc – the festival that celebrates the first sign of spring – has been instrumental in my personal discovery, and it wouldn’t be right to begin without sharing my story of adopting a slow living mindset.
Where I’ve been
On the outside, my disappearance from writing could be mistaken for intentional hibernation, or wintering. But, on the inside, I’ve been running through quicksand, doing everything to make ends meet. New pastures in Lincolnshire have been clouded by the unmistakable feeling of overwhelm, leading to a persistence to rush, change and grow into my new life at speed and in haste.
The question came in the dark depths of winter: Why am I not enjoying the process? As a believer, advocate and, quite frankly, a blogger, for intentional living, I wasn’t living in alignment. In fact, my lifestyle was becoming quite the opposite.
I was making decisions that were out of character and segregated from my values. I placed an order on a fast-fashion website – something my aligned self wouldn’t dream of doing – to buy trending items on TikTok.
I was uninspired to do the things that I enjoy most. Reading, writing, learning and crafting were replaced with doomscrolling and bridging comparisons with other people.
I scrapped my loving ritual of cooking healthy, nutritious food from scratch and opted for ease with processed and junk food (I would tell myself that it’s clear what the macros are in a McDonald’s…).
I was uninspired to live in the moment, ticking tasks off as if my life were a stock take. What now? What next?
I found the art of slow living
I did The Magic in January and, despite my gratitude not reaching the heights it has done previously, as shared in my book summary, I received the greatest gift of all – I reconnected with Self.
I had the realisation that I spent Christmas – my treasured period of rest, love and joy – worrying about the cleaning I had to do, updating my Notion board for my day job, and formalising stringent goals for the new year ahead. I realise now that I didn’t need to have a sparkling house, the Notion board could have waited, and the goals were unrealistic and suffocating. I couldn’t get the time back and I resented that it was over.
I failed a fitness challenge I was completing less than one week into January. I felt self-pity and cried to my fiancé. The next weekend, following a wedding dress consultation that didn’t go as anticipated, I left with a feeling of disappointment and, upon reflection, damaged self-esteem. Now, stepping back from the situation, I wonder why on earth I would embark on a fitness challenge in the depth of winter, and how my self-esteem wouldn’t have been impacted at the dress shop when I was, quite clearly, struggling.
Now, looking at the picture from afar, it’s clear how I could have made the process slower and more intentional:
Using pockets of time within my routine to clean, as opposed to doing it all at once
Gradually finishing and updating work projects in the months preceding Christmas, allowing me to put my out of office on peacefully in December
Connecting with loved ones and resting in the Christmas period, without setting rigid goals in my planner
Easing myself back into fitness at the right speed, and allowing myself to enjoy Christmas chocolates in January
Booking my wedding dress consultation closer to spring, when I knew I would feel ready
Why living slow is hard
After the initial spark of inspiration to change, the reality can sink in that slow living isn’t easy. I appreciate that removing all forms of communication to stay in an off-grid retreat is not the reality for most of us. If you’ve been living a fast-paced lifestyle, it’s likely that your list of commitments is already mounting and doing things is your reality.
I work in a fast-paced, corporate job that can often demand my time out of hours, and I’ve had to make peace with this reality. When I would meticulously plan out my schedule for the week, it never dawned on me that no matter how beautifully the plan was presented, I can’t always control my time. It could be a last-minute Teams call in the calendar, misplacing the house keys, a leak in the kitchen ceiling, or a cold that comes out of the blue. All of these events happened to me.
Of course, it’s how we respond to these events that matters most, and that’s where the slow living movement appealed to me.
Learning to make space
This is an act I’m consciously learning every day. I have grand plans of perfect diary management, but it comes at a cost. We aren’t living when we’re worrying after our plans fall out of sync. Rather, I’m learning that having less plans can be constructive to my day. I wasn’t planning to write this blog post. But, when inspiration struck and I wondered what to do one evening, picking up the laptop and putting my fingers to the keyboard felt right. It’s reassuring to know that I have the freedom to adapt, based on what I know my heart wants.
Finding acceptance
Being free of all responsibilities feels, well, freeing. But, simply ignoring my responsibilities isn’t an option. As a recovering ‘all or nothing’ person, this is the biggest learning curve in my adult life. I have to let go of perfectionism by accepting what is.
Accepting that my slow home won’t be spotless, but it’s a blessing to care for it.
Accepting that I won’t have a rigid writing schedule, but I can write when I feel called to.
Accepting that my weight loss journey won’t be linear, but I’m making lasting improvements to my nutrition.
Accepting that I won’t show up as my best self every day, but I wake up the next day to try again.
It’s impossible to be in constant harmony, so be gracious to yourself when something has to take priority. Right now, I’m at a critical time for wedding planning and my fiancé has started a new job, so the bedroom we’ve been decorating for over a month is still ongoing, and far from the paint job of a professional. But, I’m learning to accept that it’s OK not to have completed the job in a weekend, and instead, finding the joy in taking time.
How to adopt the slow living lifestyle
Here, I’m sharing the practical advice that I’ve learned through counselling sessions, and reading and listening to experts and other slow living resources and practitioners, to create a bank of tools that I’ve been practising on my journey. I hope they help you, too.
Be mindful
…of how you’re feeling, how you’re talking to yourself, how present you are in the moment. Is your mind whirling with thoughts about the day ahead? Are you thinking hypothetically about what your day will bring?
If your mind feels full, take a pause. What can you see, hear, smell, touch, feel? Bring yourself back to the present moment and, if you can, make yourself a comforting drink or go for a short walk. Of course, if time permits, you can take this further with guided breathing or meditation practices on YouTube, practising yoga or other slow movement that you enjoy, or, my personal favourite, writing a gratitude list. Just focus on what you can do to bring your mind to the present moment, without overthinking.
This also applies to seeking comfort in activities like shopping, when truly, opting for quality over quantity is a much more mindful practice than buying quickly and cheaply. By asking yourself questions before shopping, you can prevent making splurges that fill a void, or happen out of impatience.
Set boundaries
In today’s society, we are susceptible to pressures beyond our ancestors from hustle culture, 24/7 visibility and unattainably high expectations. It often means it’s difficult to say no. I have spent a lot of time working on my boundaries. Do I want to go? Do I enjoy it? Does it fit comfortably in my schedule? If any of these answers aren’t a resounding yes, it’s a loving act to yourself to think carefully before making a decision.
Of course, there are things that we do for reasons that we can’t account for. It’s not about scribbling out a visit to a family member in hospital, or a difficult meeting at work that you’d rather not chair. It’s about finding where you make changes to ensure you have time to fill your own cup. So, if someone suggests a meeting during your only 30-minute slot for lunch and you have meetings either side, it’s an opportunity to explore the possibility of suggesting a new time for the meeting, if you can.
This is true for the digital world, too, by allotting regular time to be away from your phone. Shut it in a drawer for an hour after work, charge it in a different room to where you sleep, or let it run out of battery overnight so your phone is out of action in the morning. You can even remove social media apps from your phone screen so they aren’t in view when you unlock your phone.
Find what you love
What activities do you truly enjoy? I was born in the 90s when the internet was in its infancy, so growing up, my sister and I would draw and colour pictures for hours on a Sunday afternoon, sharing our creations with each other and neatly storing them in ringbinders. We would read magazines, make dance routines, bake Tom and Jerry cupcakes, pet the donkeys in the nearby field and ride bikes after school. Do you remember your childhood hobbies?
As an adult, I’ve started reading and collecting magazines for my quiet moments, and, after spending my childhood watching my mum practice the tarot, I’ve felt a strong inclination to learn the tarot cards (properly).
As we move towards spring, this is a beautiful opportunity to explore what filled your cup then, as it might bring you to your passions today.
Let go of what doesn’t serve you
Truthfully, there’s no silver bullet to finding what you love – rather, it’s trial and error. Some of what you did as a child might not bring you the same pleasure as an adult, and that’s fine. Drawing and colouring are not as compelling to me as, say, writing. Again, that’s fine. If it’s not working, lovingly accept it and move to a new activity until your heart tells you it’s right.
Is the slow living lifestyle for you?
A slow living journey is for everyone. You don’t need to be recovering from burnout or living in the fast lane to be a contender for this lifestyle. In fact, I’d argue that you’ll have a much simpler transition if you don’t! But, if you’re reading this from a place of fight or flight, know that you aren’t alone. I’m learning that slowing down can bring so much purpose, love and joy to my day, and I hope it’s the same for you, too.